Not Just Any Gift: Why Most People Get Gifting Wrong
Not Just Any Gift: Why Most People Get Gifting Wrong
You know the feeling. You unwrap something, smile politely, and wonder what on earth made them think this was right for you. It is clearly a gift, but not one that says much. Probably bought in a rush. Generic. Safe. Something they would like, not you.
That kind of gifting does little. It is well-meaning, but forgettable. And that is a shame, because a gift can do so much more.
The Common Myths
There are a few gifting myths that never seem to go away. The idea that men don’t notice detail, so anything vaguely practical will do. That all women like candles or flowers. That if you like it, they will too. Or that something expensive always impresses.
None of that really holds up. People notice detail when the detail reflects them. They appreciate effort when it feels like the gift was chosen with them in mind, not plucked off a shelf because time was short. Gifting works when it is personal, not just presentable.
What Bad Gifting Does
Bad gifting isn’t just forgettable. It can be off-putting. It suggests someone has not paid attention, or worse, has not cared to. Even if it is beautifully wrapped, a gift that misses the mark is a reminder that someone did not think very hard about who you are.
Sometimes people give to ease their own guilt. They send something because they think they should, not because they actually want to. That sort of gift is often met with a thank you, followed by silence. It does not build anything.
What Good Gifting Can Do
The opposite is true too. A well chosen gift changes tone. It makes someone feel seen. It brings warmth into a relationship, whether that’s romantic, familial, professional, or something in between. It says I have thought about you, and I know you well enough to get this right.
It can soften difficult ground. It can turn a memory into something lasting. It can reconnect people who have drifted. It does not need to be overly sentimental or dramatic. It just needs to show care and relevance. That is what people remember.
Why It’s Worth Doing Properly
Gifting is one of the oldest ways we communicate care. And yet, it is one of the easiest to get wrong when we rush it, outsource it without thought, or assume people are all the same. Good gifting is not about extravagance. It is about getting into the head of the person receiving it and choosing something that makes sense for them.
It should never be done out of obligation. It should be done with purpose. When it is, it actually means something – and people remember it.
