The Father’s Day Gift Trap: Thinking There’s Still Time

Father’s Day is one of those dates many people seem to leave until the last minute. I do it myself and am trying to think why, when I am thinking of Mother’s Day gifts for quite a while in advance.  

I think there are probably a mix of reasons. We have Mother’s Day more emotionally coded. By that I mean that people are used to talking about mothers in terms of care, sacrifice, gratitude, home, emotional support, childhood, and family ‘glue’. Historically the whole commercial build up to Mother’s Day runs with that notion. Flowers, cards, lunch, afternoon tea, candles, pampering, jewellery; the buying language is clear. 

With Father’s Day, the emotional language around men is still much narrower, although thankfully this is changing, as men take on a more proactive role in the home and child-rearing, and connect more emotionally to their family then ever before. Nevertheless, the male role is still often framed around provision, money, fixing things, practical help, showing up for the family in sporting and other activities. Times are changing for sure, but men are still less associated with softness, sentiment or the need to be thanked in physical and emotional ways. It is more of a cursory given rather than something extravagantly demonstrated. Even in a Father’s Day card there may be a short message of ‘I hope you know I appreciate all you do for me’ whereas a mother would be more likely to receive something lengthier and more specific.  

So, one of the reasons people delay Father’s Day is because people don’t believe it is as important to a man as Mother’s Day is to a woman. Another is that it is more challenging to know what to buy. The default can become beer, whisky, socks, BBQ. golf tools, or a joke present. Men often say they don’t need anything and they buy what they want themselves. This however is not the point of a day of appreciation such as Father’s Day. It is not to fulfil a practical need: it is to deliver a surprise, a treat, an expression of appreciation.  

I don’t think it’s that we value fathers less, more that we don’t have the obvious and comfortable options of expressing their value to us. 

Many men are not used to being the recipient of appreciation gifts, so expectations may be lower. That makes the giver less pressured to plan ahead.  

When men say they don’t want anything, people take them at their word or think if they don’t want anything they will be pleased with any token or predictable gift. 

With these factors in mind, we know if we really think about it, how much fathers (and of course those who have been like a father to us) would truly appreciate a thoughtful gift that is not the usual last-minute item from the local department store or worse still supermarket.  

What then do you get for the dad who says he doesn’t need anything? 

The key is to buy with him in mind and make it really personal.  Then he will know you really thought about him. 

Start with thinking about all the things he likes, and any interests or hobbies, such as: 

• Golf 
• Whisky 
• Gardening 
• Football 
• Padel
• Coffee 
• Food
• Cars 
• Books 
• Travel 
• Cooking
• Being outdoors 
• A few really good treats he would not buy for himself 
  

Then either run with a theme or mix and match. However, make it look co-ordinated and chosen specifically not randomly. Add the items that go together. So if he likes red wine it is probable he would like some cheese and biscuits or savoury snacks to go with it and maybe a nice wine stopper or a decanter. If he likes Padel, you could buy a Padel hamper with socks, grips, a Padel themed water bottle, electrolytes and some chocolate Padel rackets and balls, If he likes to travel you could buy him a personalised passport holder with his initials and some luggage tags, as well as some treats. 

A Father’s Day gift should ideally look as if someone has thought carefully about what he likes and created the gift around that.  

At Top Hampers, you can choose from our beautifully presented, themed Father’s Day gifts, build your own, or add extra items to make the gift more personal. You can also pick the delivery date and add a ‘No peeping before Father’s Day’ message to the box if you want it to arrive early, or you can schedule it to arrive at a later date and know that he is going to love it because you have not left it until the last minute and you have chosen something personally relevant.  

Father’s Day is Sunday 21 June. 

Last orders to be sure are Thursday 18 June, but waiting until then means less time, and possibly less choice. So why not tick it off the list now and be confident it will be there at just the right time. 

Sort it before it becomes the thing you meant to do.